Equitable Negotiation – No Kidding!
By
Grant Jones
Negotiating is a little like golf; it doesn’t deliver a tidy “handicap”, but it can
be measured. I’ve been negotiating for over 40 years, and have put tons of money in
my employer’s pockets by just asking for it. Furthermore, I’ve always treated people
as I would like to be, and negotiated with them as a friend. Each situation is
different, but, I still measure my performance against the basics I’ve gleaned over
the years, and I share them with you here.
Successful negotiation is simply getting “the truth” [from all parties] “out on the
table” so that a common-sense division of equities can take place without anyone
feeling “ripped off”. No one wants to feel like a “wuss”, but the savvy negotiator
lets everyone “go home with their pants on”. Successful negotiation – any
negotiation - ensures that YOUR side gets the truth out and the OTHER side accepts
it with a good attitude, so that both of you can do business later, with reputations
[personal and public] intact. Getting to that point requires sensitivity and
practice, but you won’t get any better until you try.
Just as you wouldn’t use the same iron in a sand-trap as you would “on the green”,
each negotiating situation brings different elements into play. Look through the
following list, and, try one the next time.
1. Ask for what you want. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for discounts, special rates,
and concessions. The worst they can do is say “No”, but most often, if you explain
that you want to do business with them, but need to have a more competitive rate or
compromise, they’ll “help you out”.
2. Wait [silently] for a response. The silence might be deafening at first, but
that’s the sound of them thinking it over. If they say “No”, be understanding, but
reassert how much you want to maintain a good relationship, and suggest a concession
[of some sort] from them, as a show of “good faith”; then, look to the next time.
Keep offering an alternative to “No” until they relent “on something”, and then show
your appreciation for the concession. Let them know you care about their business
or concern, and they’ll care more about yours.
3. Always maintain a position of “doing the right thing”, and do what you say you
will. Credibility is your most important asset. Having established the high moral
ground, encourages your counterpart to “be there” too.
4. Money is only one form of barter. In advance, consider all the “goodies” or
concessions you [or they] can make that don’t cost money, but will be appreciated.
5. Get acquainted with the key people you negotiate with. It’s easier for them to
“do you a favor” when they know you really do care. “Suck ups” and other phonies
need not apply.
6. Find out what they want, or are willing to offer. Listen to what they say [and
don’t say], and take notes. You’ll never be sorry.
7. If you stumble, don’t tumble. When you get to a “sticking point”, acknowledge it
for the time being, deflect it with a funny story if you can, and then work with a
point you can make progress with. When the mood is better, THEN go back to the
“sticking point” and move it in a positive direction. Don’t put all the hurdles in a
row unless you want to kill the deal.
8. Divide up the deal. Find out what’s negotiable and what’s not. Concede the “deal
breakers” if possible, and use each concession you make to encourage flexibility on
something else [something for something]. And folks, do them one at a time . . . .
Avoid “package deals” until you’ve examined the pieces.
9. “Future business” is a powerful incentive to bend a little. Make sure they know
you’re looking towards a long-term business relationship. Enlarge their imagination
of mutual opportunities. Get them to think of what’s in it for them.
10. Stress creates mess. Never negotiate when you’re under pressure. It will always
show, and will always cost you. If you are under pressure, get someone to represent
you who isn’t.
11. Be patient. Some negotiations require a longer period of getting acquainted
[either with you, or the subject matter]. Always end a negotiating session on a
positive note, and a piece of business that they can do for you now, or vice versa.
Protracted negotiations can be deadly if there isn’t a feeling of progress.
12. Never make concessions, or agree to an offer, “up front”. The other side will
most likely feel they either offered too much, or your position is weaker than they
thought. Neither may be true, but that’s the impression. Everyone benefits from
finding out what the “pro and con” issues are first, then going through them
systematically, starting with the “pro’s”.
13. Don’t confuse the issue at hand with other issues and options, until the need is
unavoidable. Most people prefer to grapple with one “octopus” at a time. The first
issues discussed ought to be those of agreement, then “deal breakers”, then your
“wish list”.
14. Tally the talk. As points are agreed, restate them verbally as you write them
down, and get them to acknowledge the accuracy. This saves lots of time later, even
if it’s a simple “up or down” deal.
15. Know your stuff. If you don’t, you’ll be at a huge disadvantage, whether or not
the other person knows you’re unprepared. Go home, and try again later. If they are
unscrupulous, and sense your unpreparedness, you are "dead meat" if you try to
finesse it.
16. Divide the pride. As you move through the negotiations, make sure the other side
knows progress is being made, and that THEY deserve credit [when they do]! They need
to “feel the deal”, and that THEY are helping to make it happen. Write letters of
appreciation when warranted. Be generous with “thanks” [if they’ve earned it].
You? You can pat your own back.
17. When to cut and run. If it becomes evident you’re “outgunned”, either cut your
best deal and move on, or defer negotiations to someone more experienced or less
vulnerable [maybe even you, on a better day]. You usually don’t have to “give up”
and let the other guy dictate terms. Ask for time to consider, and start over.
At times, almost everyone thinks about one or more of the previous points raised.
None of them are complex or hard to understand by themselves. The effort is to keep
them all in mind as the negotiation unfolds, and learn to feel when the time is right
to integrate, or transition to, the next aspect, [just like putting all the elements
of a good golf swing together]. I’ve already tried to rank-order the list, but if
you feel you just “have to” choose, I’d suggest 1, 3, 4, 8, and 9 as indispensable.
An equitable presentation of “the truth” will pay dividends for everyone. Try it.
Remember that you were entitled [in the beginning] to whatever is eventually agreed
to; they just didn’t know you wanted it or why they should give it to you.
* * *
Grant Jones is Director of the Property and Projects Division with Equity Funding, a
Division of Centrum Financial Services, Inc., in Seattle. He is an attorney, in
addition to holding professional credentials in a broad range of fields, and has
authored many articles on property management issues. He can be reached for comment
at [206]269-0628, or gjones@centrumfinancial.com. The
author retains his copyrights,
but license is granted for limited personal use copying.
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